No Matter What
You know that friend you had when you were young, who…no matter how many friends you’ve had since (I’m in my 40’s–I’ve had a fair amount of friends), you remember vividly? That’s Emily for me.
Picture it–a smaller city in Wisconsin, rows and rows of ranch-style homes. I would ride my bike a handful of blocks to Emily’s home–nestled along the curve of a street, throw my bike down in the grass and run up to the door. I distinctly remember specific experiences with Emily: watching the Mickey Mouse Club (back when Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, and Brittney Spears would likely have never have imagined the fame that was to come), riding in the backwards-facing seat of a station wagon to a baseball game, playing the Girl Talk game, and shaving our legs together for the first time. In every memory, I envision Emily’s face–grinning, complete with her noteworthy dimple.
And then…fast-forward 30 years or so. We had lost touch. I found my mind often wandering to thoughts of “I wonder what Emily is up to?” I typed her name into Instagram…nothing. I figured that she may have changed her last name and my attempts to find Emily, from Wisconsin, were futile. But…I remembered Andy–her older brother. So I typed in his name. BOOM. Success.
Waiting for Andy’s friend acceptance on Insta was filled with, “But what if he doesn’t remember me?!” A notification popped up on my screen–You are now following Andy. I raced to his list of followers, looking for any “Emily” possible, figuring I might be able to recognize her noteworthy dimple…And there she was. Emily Horak. I requested a friendship. She quickly accepted.
I think that, as an adult, requesting friendships–ACTUAL friendships, is difficult. We have a core set of friends, we fear rejection, our schedules are maxed out…but I always have room for Emily. I would risk all of it.
Fast-forward a few months. I am in Iowa for a wedding, pretending to be attentive on a Zoom call for work, but scrolling through Instagram under the table. I see Emily has posted a story and…she is in IOWA. SHE IS IN IOWA! I messaged her: I am only in Iowa, but only for one more day. She is 45 minutes away. We couldn’t make it happen. But…something happened in those messages. A door reopened and much wider than a simple “Follow” on social media.We both recognized we wanted to revisit this early, foundational friendship.
We have spent the past year texting, meeting over Zoom, and developing Hello Again, Friend so other early childhood friends can also open that door to revisiting these friendships. Let me tell you, it’s worth the risk, the rejection, throwing a busy schedule to the side. This is the stuff of rejuvenating your soul. Emily and I are friends–no matter what.
-Meredith